Srinagar: As dusk falls over Kashmir and the muezzin’s call to prayer reverberates through the valley, the scene inside many homes has changed.
Once filled with laughter, stories, and heartfelt conversations, the evenings now carry an eerie silence—broken only by the soft glow of mobile screens.
For Kashmir’s elderly, who once held the center of family gatherings, this silence is not just unsettling—it is heartbreaking.
“I Speak, But No One Listens”
Sitting on his intricately carved wooden porch, 74-year-old Ghulam Nabi Dar from Baramulla watches the sun sink behind the mountains.
His eyes scan the courtyard, hoping his grandchildren will come sit with him, like they once did, asking about his childhood, his tales of snow-covered winters, and the stories of old Kashmir. But they are nowhere to be seen.
“They are inside, lost in their mobile phones,” he says with a sigh. “Earlier, they would rush to me after school, sit beside me, and we would talk for hours. Now, they barely look up from their screens.”
His wife, Shameema, nods in agreement. “Even at dinner, they are silent, staring at their phones. I miss the days when our home would echo with their laughter and endless questions.”
A Lost Tradition of Storytelling
In Kashmiri culture, the elderly have long played a crucial role in passing down traditions, values, and wisdom through storytelling. Whether it was narrating folktales by the warm bukhari (traditional wood stove) in winter or discussing history over a cup of noon chai, these conversations formed the fabric of family life.
“When I was young, we would sit around my grandfather every evening, listening to stories of kings, sufis, and warriors,” recalls 80-year-old Haji Bashir from Srinagar. “There was no television, no phones—just us, sharing life and learning from each other. Now, my own grandchildren barely acknowledge me.”
The absence of these moments is not just an emotional loss; it is a cultural one. The knowledge, values, and traditions that were once orally passed down are now at risk of fading away.
“I Feel Like a Stranger in My Own Home”
The emotional toll on the elderly is evident. Many describe feeling invisible, as if they no longer belong in the very homes they built.
“I feel like a guest in my own house,” says 78-year-old Firdous Begum. “I try to talk to my children and grandchildren, but they are always too busy on their phones. They don’t even look at me when I speak. Sometimes, I just sit in the corner, waiting for someone to notice me.”
This growing disconnect is not just limited to personal conversations. Even religious and cultural practices are changing. “Earlier, after Maghrib prayers, we would all sit together, share stories, recite Quran, and discuss life,” says Ghulam Nabi. “Now, everyone rushes to their rooms, scrolling through their phones, leaving us alone with our memories.”
Psychologists Warn of Emotional Isolation
Experts say this shift is causing deep emotional distress among Kashmir’s elderly. “The feeling of being ignored or unheard can lead to depression, loneliness, and a sense of worthlessness,” explains Dr. Farooq Ahmad, a psychologist in Srinagar. “Many elders in Kashmir are suffering from emotional isolation within their own homes.”
Parents’ Efforts to Restore Family Bonding
Realizing the impact of excessive mobile use, some families are taking steps to bring back meaningful interactions.
“We now have a rule—no phones during family time,” says Sameer, a father of three from Pulwama. “At least for one hour in the evening, we all sit together, talk, and listen to our elders. It has made a huge difference.”
Others are introducing activities that encourage participation from the elderly—reading together, playing board games, or simply sitting outside and talking.
“We must reclaim our evenings before it’s too late,” says Haji Bashir. “We may not be here forever, but while we are, we just want to feel heard, to feel loved.”
A recent study has highlighted the serious physical and mental health risks associated with excessive smartphone use. The findings reveal that overuse of smartphones is linked to depression, anxiety, OCD, ADHD, and alcohol use disorder.
Also, it can lead to cognitive-emotion regulation difficulties, impulsivity, impaired cognitive function, addiction to social networking, and low self-esteem. Medical issues such as sleep disturbances, migraines, reduced physical fitness, unhealthy eating habits, and changes in brain gray matter volume have also been observed.
Despite these concerns, some researchers, including Billieux, Panova, Carbonell, and Montag, argue that there is insufficient evidence to classify excessive smartphone use as an addiction. They suggest that it may instead be a form of Internet Use Disorder rather than a standalone behavioral addiction.
Nevertheless, health and education professionals are increasingly worried about the impact of excessive screen time, particularly among children and adolescents, urging more research into its long-term consequences.
